When old wounds have new names

A little warning first: Brunhilde is back. Not in her total exhaustion, but in her boundless rage. She has discovered an enemy and sharpens her knives day after day. As soon as I open my eyes, she is there. Her eyes glow red, her nails have grown into claws, her teeth are sharp as razors. The once loving monster who wanted to protect me through isolation has now grown into a beast. At first, she was silent. A secret whisper. A quick shadow in the corner of my eye. Now she stands next to me, behind me, spurring me on. She urges me to act. Not to remain silent. To speak and, if necessary, to scream.

What happened to make her change so much?

Well, she was always angry, but in the past it was out of desperation. It was anger to be heard. Anger not to disappear. Now she wants to fiercely defend what I have achieved. She doesn’t want me to go through what I went through last year again. But she has found something that could reopen old wounds. She saw something that was one of the triggers for my situation. Do you know what the funny thing is? It’s the same behavior pattern of another person that is now the trigger again.

Why am I telling you this?

Because today’s card is the 6 of Swords. Look at this card. We see three people on a boat. They have turned away from us and are sailing away. We don’t know if they are fleeing or simply don’t want to stay any longer. But what we see are the swords stuck in front of them in the boat. They are taking them with them. All the suffering, all the problems, all the thoughts. They are not leaving them behind.

It’s similar for me. I’ve learned to deal with many things and triggers, but so far I’ve only been able to avoid this one. I haven’t been able to train my reaction to it, I haven’t been able to change it. I’ve taken it all with me, even though so much has changed. Incidentally, the people involved, the trigger at the time and the current one, even have similar names. So similar that it’s not coincidence but synchronicity. It is precisely this connection that makes me sit up and take notice.

Some time ago, my dear friend Caro even read my cards about it. She showed me exactly what I didn’t understand at the time, but now see clearly. It’s not the person themselves, it’s not their behavior, but everything I associate with it. The unfulfilled wishes, the hurt, the wounds.

We can change the circumstances hundreds of times. However, if the problem or issue is not resolved, it will come back. Over and over again. It will come in cycles, then fade into oblivion, only to reappear stronger and clearer in the next cycle.

So if you feel like you need to change something right now, make sure you leave your swords on land. Travel light, leave your worries behind. Find a real solution to deal with your issues. You see, despite all the work I’ve already put into my development, it’s not always easy for me either. Old things come up for me too. Partly because they were forgotten, partly because it was easier to push them aside.

Shall we tackle this together? Maybe it will be easier that way.

Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Imagine him creeping up to you on quiet paws. His purring calms you. You hear his breath, calm and peaceful. Then he stands next to you. A mighty tiger. He looks at you and lies down next to you. His pure presence gives you strength. Your breath adapts to his. You become calm and feel his strength. With each breath, your body and mind relax.

He will accompany us both for some time now. He will watch over us when we sleep. He will walk beside us when we move and he will wait beside us when we stop. As soon as we feel we cannot solve something, he will be with us. He will give us the peace and strength we need in these moments. We will become him, and he will become us.

What do you think about keeping in touch? What is your current challenge? If you like, write it in the comments. Maybe we can really support each other. Or exchange solutions. Many things are easier together.

Let’s give it a try.

Feel free to check out Caro’s website at www.mondwanderin.com. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok as @carolins.tarotecke.

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