The Limits of the Emperor – Your Control, Your Empire

Today’s post may be a little uncomfortable. You know, I’m not part of the light-and-love faction. I just talk and write the way I feel. I usually don’t mince words, and yes, that doesn’t suit every reader. But since you haven’t stopped reading yet, I’m assuming you can handle it. 

As soon as I drew the Emperor card, a song popped into my head. More specifically, a particular line from a song:

I will burn your kingdom down

If you try to conquer me and mine

The Brothers Bright – Me and Mine

This card is not a gentle one. The Emperor rules with an iron fist. Do you see the barren mountains in the background? No trees, no bushes, just bare rock. They represent logic, calculation, but also a stone boundary that the ruler has drawn around his empire. He knows his empire and defends its borders mercilessly.

Why is this rather frightening for many people?

Well, very few of us have learned how to really set our own boundaries. Even fewer have learned how to defend them. We were confronted with a wide variety of rules and laws. First, they were set by the people who raised us. Their boundaries defined us. They shaped our personalities. We learned what we were allowed to do and what we were not allowed to do. We learned how to behave. If we did not, we were punished in one way or another. So it was in our interest to respect these boundaries, because in a way they were ours.

As we grew up, these boundaries were supplemented by those of society. In our education, we learn which values have been defined as right and wrong throughout history. We were taught what happens when a collective promotes questionable systems. With this knowledge, we formed further values or reinforced some existing ones. With these, further boundary posts were erected. But so far, not a single post, not a single barrier, none of it has really come from within us.

It was only later, in my twenties, that we developed something of an idea of how we wanted to shape our own lives. We might move into our first apartment. We meet new people or perhaps find true love. All of this develops a desire in us for how our lives should be. And with this idea, a change takes place in many of us. Old values are partially thrown overboard because they no longer prove to be appropriate. New values may be added and our boundaries shift. These new pillars are fragile. Even the first failure as a young adult is usually enough to tear down a boundary or shift it again. They are corrected again, mainly from the outside. Everything shifts over and over again. Sometimes our realm becomes smaller and narrower, sometimes it becomes more expansive and larger. 

Now in my thirties, I have solidified my values. I know my boundaries, both those of my mind, my body, and my soul. And I defend these walls that I now carry around me. I decide who is allowed into my world and who is not. Anyone who tries to attack it will meet with resistance. Ten years ago, such an attempt would have been easy to succeed, but today? Well, I wouldn’t try it myself.

And now I come to the effect that this process has had. With my new boundaries, with the towers, gates, and guards, I have gained control. I can now consciously decide what shadows I want to let in and what I don’t. I block out what has not been good for me over the decades. I deny entry to anyone who disregards my values. And the best part is: I don’t have to answer to anyone for it.

Can you clearly recognize your boundaries for yourself? Are they what you need them to be? Do you feel safe in your own kingdom? If you can answer these questions with “Yes!”, then I would like to congratulate you. I congratulate you on recognizing your power.

If you answer even one of these questions with “No!”, then I ask you to take the sword from the “Cast Away Negativity” card. Feel its strength in your hand. Grasp it firmly and set off. Go into battle. The battle for your kingdom. For your boundaries. For your well-being. Stand up for yourself and fight. 

If you like, feel free to use the comments section. Write about your process. Write about your most important boundary. Or draw up your battle plan. I am happy to accompany you on your journey. You are not alone.

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